Analyzing the Traditional Gender Roles in Anita Nair’s Lessons in Forgetting https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.12671334

Analyzing the Traditional Gender Roles in Anita Nair’s Lessons in Forgetting

https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.12671334

Author(s): Dr Neelam Mulchandani

DOI: https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.12671334

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Volume 15 | Issue 3 | June 2024

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The Criterion: An International Journal in English Vol. 15, Issue-III, June 2024 ISSN: 0976-8165
www.the-criterion.com
https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.10448030
Analyzing the Traditional Gender Roles in Anita Nair’s Lessons in Forgetting
Dr Neelam Mulchandani
Associate Prof.,
Dept. of English,
R K Talreja College,
Ulhasnagar 421003,
Dist. Thane, Maharashtra.
Article History: Submitted-10/06/2024, Revised-20/06/2024, Accepted-26/06/2024, Published-30/06/2024.
Abstract:
Gender consistently assumes a crucial role in the existence of every individual, regardless
of their biological sex, social class, racial background, or religious beliefs. Various indigenous
customs involve the mistreatment of women, with some even regarding them as unfamiliar
individuals despite being their loved ones.
Gender stereotypes frequently contribute to gender-based violence over time. A gender
role refers to the societal expectations and norms regarding the behaviors and attitudes that are
deemed acceptable, proper, or desirable for individuals based on their perceived or actual sex.
This paper aims to examine and challenge the conventional gender norms depicted in
Anita Nair’s novel, Lessons in Forgetting. Anita Nair subverts societal norms by portraying one
of the protagonists, Smriti’s character in her work as a female who defies stereotypes. This study
challenges the principles promoted in the patriarchal society and highlights the transformation of
women from the restrictive and suffocating environments of a society ruled by men to a state of
self-assertion, self-identity, and empowerment, as portrayed via the characters of Meera, Smirti,
Lily, Sarada, and Kala Chithi.
Keywords: Pivotal, Stereotyped, Claustrophobic, Self-proclamation, Identity, Gender role,
Empowerment.
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Analyzing the Traditional Gender Roles in Anita Nair’s Lessons in Forgetting
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https://doi.org/10.5281/zenodo.10448030
Gender Studies
Gender studies are an interdisciplinary topic that focuses on the analysis of gender
identity and gender representation as key categories of study. This discipline encompasses
Women’s Studies, which focuses on the topics of women, feminism, gender, and politics, as well
as men’s studies and queer studies. Gender is intricately intertwined with other determinants of
an individual’s social standing, including sexuality, race, class, ability and religion, place of
origin, citizenship status, life events, and access to resources. This comprehensive collection
seeks to provide readers with an introduction to gender studies in a broad sense. This
demonstrates the progress the subject has made in the past few decades and highlights its
interdisciplinary nature, which provides a variety of instruments for comprehending and
analyzing our reality.
The examination of gender is a crucial component in the fields of Humanities, Fine Arts,
Social sciences, and Natural sciences. Gender studies facilitate the analysis of gender within
various academic fields and explore the societal expectations and behaviors associated with
males and females, as well as the societal construction of masculinity and femininity. This theory
posits that masculinity and femininity can be understood as a collection of qualities that are
generated in collaboration and influence the experiences of both men and women. It questioned
or contested notions of masculinity and femininity, as well as the traditional view of men and
women being bound by biological factors in their historical roles. By excluding these concepts
from the domain of biology, it enabled the emergence of a historical perspective.
Previous Indian novelists have shown women as stoic victims, defenders of traditional
values and ethics, rigorous adherents to societal taboos, embodiments of tolerance and patience,
role models for future generations, individuals devoid of personal space, and women lacking an
independent identity. Throughout history, women have been consistently undervalued and
overlooked. Simone de Beauvoir astutely observes, “A woman is not born, but rather becomes
one.” The societal portrayal of the feminine figure is not determined by biological,
psychological, or economic factors. Rather, it is the collective influence of civilization that
shapes an intermediary representation between males and eunuchs, commonly referred to as the
female gender.
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Postcolonial women writers such as Kamala Markandaya, Nayantara Sehgal, Shashi
Deshpande, Anita Nair, Anita Desai, and Manju Kapoor have significantly altered the portrayal
of female characters in their works. The primary focus of these writers has been to portray the
interior thoughts and emotions of characters, as well as explore nuanced interpersonal
connections. They reveal concealed truths by emphasizing the need to depict women as
individuals who defy established norms, liberate themselves from exploitation and oppression,
and awaken their sense of identity to proclaim their individuality. Female authors redefine the
concept of women in their literary works. The essence of the self is inherently intricate. The
countless cells within an individual give rise to ongoing internal conflicts and disharmony,
raising the hypothetical question of one’s self-identity.
Lessons in Forgetting
Anita Nair is an accomplished Indian author who has been actively producing a wide
range of literary works in English since 1997. Her repertoire includes novels, short stories,
poems, essays, children’s stories, plays, travel logs, and editing projects. She gained widespread
recognition for her literary works, particularly her novels titled The Better Man and Ladies
Coupe. Her works portray the authentic experiences of her characters, exploring the impact of
societal conditioning on women and their liberation from these constraints. They defy societal
norms and refuse to be constrained by the limitations imposed on women. Nair defies the
conventions of depicting her female characters and consistently reveals the unvarnished truth,
regardless of its harshness. Her works provide a comprehensive record of the socioeconomic
conditions and issues prevalent in the 21st century. The novel Lessons in Forgetting urges us to
reconsider the ideological basis of men’s patriarchal role in traditional society and contemplate
the possibility of an alternate reality. The novel explores the arduous decisions women must
make to establish and maintain their identity. Despite facing discrimination, women are
determined to reclaim their identities within the patriarchal social order. Savitha Singh thinks
that Anita Nair has successfully portrayed the significant role and empowering metamorphosis of
women in the ongoing struggle for female self-identity.
The novel, Lessons in Forgetting, tells the story of Meera, the main character, who
resides in Lilac house with her grandmother Lily, her mother Saro, and her two children
Nayantara and Nikhil. During the 1930s, Raghavan Menon, her great-grandfather, started his life
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in Calcutta. He develops a romantic attachment to Charo, a woman from Bengal, and enters into
matrimony with her, resulting in the birth of their daughter, Leela. Charo passes away, prompting
Raghavan Menon to send Leela to Shanti Niketan. It is there that a renowned Bengali director
discovers her. She establishes herself as a renowned actress in Hindi movies under the name
Lily. She weds Sandon, a Hungarian artist, and they relocate to Bangalore, residing in Lilac
home, which was discovered for them by Raghavan Menon. Saro, their sole offspring, develops
self-reliance and perceives herself as a woman with distinctive preferences. She develops
romantic feelings for her best friend’s brother and eventually enters into a marital union with
him. The novel has Meera, their daughter, as the main character. Following the death of Saro’s
husband, she and her daughter Meera find sanctuary in Lilac’s house. Following her father’s
demise, Meera endured a period of adversity that compelled her to choose a modest and
uncomplicated lifestyle. She lacks ambition and does not aim for significant achievements.
“Meera never had ambitious aspirations. She lacked any inclination toward luxury clothing,
jewelry, or extravagant vacations. Her only concern was ensuring that she had enough resources
to provide shelter and sustenance for herself and her family. Sufficient to maintain one’s dignity
and avoid seeking temporary financial assistance from unwilling family members. Sufficient to
sustain a lifestyle similar to theirs”, (Ibid, Pg.41)
Meera’s life undergoes a transformation when the Lilac house is selected for a picture
shoot. Giri, a member of the shooting crew, coincidentally encounters her and develops romantic
feelings for her. He develops a close and personal relationship with her, as well as with her
family. Giri is captivated by the opulence shown to him, and he sees her as a bride who possesses
both elegance and a stunning ancestral residence. Giri, a strategic and driven individual, desires
to plan for his future opportunities and break free from the challenging circumstances of his
impoverished life in the hamlet of Palakkad. He secured employment in the corporate sector
while actively seeking the chance to achieve the pinnacle of success in life. He desires to erase
all memories of his father, including the faded yellowing clothing he wore and the dilapidated
old house where he lived, as well as his impoverished family. He desires to attain a refined and
sophisticated way of living. He weds Meera in the hopes of liberating himself from his tarnished
history. Intending to elevate his social standing, he marries her, although she remains oblivious
to his true intentions.
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“Meera’s presence would facilitate his ability to progress and let go of the past.
Ultimately, he would be liberated from the lingering effects of his deteriorating history and the
unpleasant remembrance of settling for less. He has a preference for the Lilac house fragrance
called l’air du temps” (Ibid, pg. 37). Meera identifies herself as Hera, the Greek goddess,
earnestly awaiting the love of her Zeus, Giri. They have two children, Nayantara and Nikhil, in
rapid succession. He advises her to cultivate social relevance, and as a result, she quickly
establishes herself as a cookbook author. He exerts ultimate control over her life.
Giri aspires to establish his enterprise to elevate his social standing and attain wealth.
Consequently, he intends to sell the Lilac house. He is concerned about his position in the
corporate realm and desires greater opportunities. However, Meera refuses to sell the Lilac house
because her grandfather had obtained a 99-year lease on the property. After 45 years, the house
must be relinquished to its initial proprietors. Giri, recognizing the absence of any tangible or
social advantages, concluded that his relationship with Meera had reached an impasse.
Consequently, at a social gathering, he abruptly abandons Meera and vanishes from her life,
leaving her to care for their two children alongside her mother and grandmother. Meera
subsequently comprehends that Giri had acknowledged her as a meal ticket.
Following Giri’s departure, Meera’s life descends into misery, as she expresses, “We may
perish from hunger, but it will be in an elegant environment” (Ibid, pg. 111). Consequently, she
accepts employment as a Research Assistant to Jak, an authority on cyclones. Conversely, Giri
initiates a fresh chapter in their life and requests a legal dissolution of their marriage. Meera
chooses to abandon her previous persona as Hera since Zeus no longer plays a role in her life.
She embarks into her second phase of life, just as Giri does. When Giri entered her life, she had
made no alterations to her home, hair, dreams, or personal identity. After he left her, she desires
a transformation that would make her feel like a completely different person. In the words of
Meera, “Now that she has rediscovered it, she feels empowered” (Ibid, pg.186). In addition, she
chooses to alleviate Giri’s obligations as a parent and assumes complete accountability for her
children. She goes to the party alone. She is self-sufficient and does not require the presence of
others. She is not experiencing any discomfort at the gathering that Nair describes as “a woman
by herself at a party is like a man by himself” (Ibid, pg.183). Her epiphany manifests itself in her
choice to embark on the next chapter of her life with Jak, as she acknowledges that the person
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she used to be will fade away and cease to exist indefinitely. Meera resolves to be present for
him.
Smriti, the other protagonist, exhibits resistance towards prevalent societal norms,
including the dowry system and female feticide. Anita Nair, the author, portrays this rebellion as
a significant aspect of Smriti’s character.
Notwithstanding the existing laws and regulations, mothers continue to find means of
ascertaining the gender of their unborn offspring. If not the ladies themselves, then their families.
If the fetus is female, they terminate the pregnancy. In the future, there may be a time when the
female population ceases to exist.
Smirti’s character portrays a new type of woman who is educated, brave, and able to
forge her path in a male-dominated society. Furthermore, her struggles serve as a warning to
young people about the dangers of being controlled and taken advantage of.
Smriti, the offspring of Jak and Nina currently resides with her father after the official
separation of her parents. Drawn by her father’s captivating Indian tales, she embarks on a
journey to India to seek her advanced education. She embodies the concept of mistaken
identification. In India, she actively participates in a forum that is motivated by powerful phrases
such as “The dying daughters of India need you” (Ibid, pg.153). These slogans aim to raise
awareness about pressing issues including dowry, violence against women, and female feticide in
small villages. She visits her father’s hamlet, Mingikapuram, in Tamil Nadu with her friend Rishi
Soman as part of an awareness campaign. Upon her return to the hospital for the treatment of a
glass injury, she is taken aback by the presence of numerous pregnant women who have come
for ultrasound scans to determine the gender of their unborn babies. If the unborn kid is female,
they may choose to get an abortion, either voluntarily or under coercion. Smirti, driven by her
ideological fervor, views the practice as criminal and is determined to put an end to it.
“It is against the law!”Smirti’s voice escalated,” This action is performed in this location. What is
your rationale for our presence in this location? The scan doctor is not a resident of this
community. The woman quietly revealed that the doctor was brought in from another location
and was willing to answer our questions. These pregnant women, who come from different areas
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of the district, are here because of the scan performed by the doctor. Furthermore, if you desire
to, they are capable of doing the abortion procedure at this location as well, (Ibid, Pg.292).
She endeavors to gather evidence to substantiate these claims to compile a report. She
encounters a woman named Chinnathayi, whose daughter passes away in the healthcare facility
following an abortion. Smirti requests documentation about this matter from her. Doctor
Srinivasan and his disgruntled associates deceive Smirti by sending her a false message under the
guise of Chinnathayi and summoning her to the seaside. Upon Smirti’s arrival, the trio proceeds
to annihilate her. These men were behaving like animals. The individuals aggressively assaulted
the girl, and it appeared that her increased vocalizations just heightened their arousal. “The odor
detected was that of blood” (Ibid, Pg. 217). Following the harrowing and distressing ordeal, she
transforms into an immobile, pitiful, and inert form. Smirti, a girl raised in the United States,
encountered significant difficulties in aligning herself with her fellow Indian women and the
actions she believes are her responsibility to rectify societal injustice. According to Maya Vinay,
Smirti, a character in the novel Lessons in Forgetting, falls prey to a case of mistaken
identity. Many men in India are not adequately prepared to deal with the type of
modernity that arises from advanced Western education and upbringing. Despite her
lighthearted nature, Smirti is also a girl who aims to initiate societal change through her
social engagement. She is harshly penalized by the patriarchal society for her
involvement in local affairs. She is perceived as an anomaly by her community because
she showcases the potential of our society to a group of individuals who are not yet
prepared to seize or recognize these possibilities (Ibid, pg.118-119).
Nair discusses the desire of women to liberate themselves from the burdens of life
through the character of Sarada, Jak’s mother. Her husband abandons her and their son to pursue
sainthood. His parents hold her responsible for this and as a result, she begins to live
independently with her son, named Kitcha or Jak. This is due to her husband’s dissatisfaction
with everything in his life, including his home, wife, and son. She initially started her career as a
primary Mathematics Teacher at a local school and subsequently obtained her Bachelor of
Education degree to achieve financial autonomy. Upon receiving a letter from her husband
detailing the insurmountable obstacles preventing his return, she gains a clear understanding of
the true nature of her existence and resolves to live a life of her own. Therefore, she enters into a
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new marriage with a Physics Teacher hailing from Hyderabad. Therefore, Sarada serves as a
prime example of the challenges women face in striving for independence and autonomy.
Kala Chithi exemplifies women’s defiance of archaic customs. After her marriage, she is
given the name Vaidehi to symbolize the exemplary traits of a wife and woman. She is a logical
woman who questions the blame placed on her sister Sarada for her husband’s abandonment of
his house and responsibilities, asking “But how can you hold Akka accountable?” Athimbel is
the one who departed, a fact that is widely known among all of us” (Ibid, Pg. 198). She
experiences a sense of relief from her anguish when she washes her hair in the waves, as it is the
first time she feels a sensation of weightlessness. “Spontaneously, I untied my hair and allowed
the ocean water to permeate through it. My hair stood on end and the pain in my neck
disappeared. I erupted with laughter”(Ibid, pg.198). When she trims her excessively lengthy and
burdensome hair, her spouse penalizes her by refusing to communicate with her. He returns to
his usual state when she retrieves a lengthy strand of hair. When Ambi, her husband, decides to
remarry due to their inability to conceive a child after 7 years of marriage, Kala Chithi presents
him with a lengthy braid adorned with Jasmine and kanakambaram flowers, along with her
marital name, Vaidehi. She trims her hair and presents it to him, saying, “This is everything you
have ever desired from me.” Retain it. “Allow me to depart, I stated as I walked away” (Ibid,
pg.206). She begins cohabitating with Sarada and reverts to her original name, Kala Chithi.
After the loss of her daughter, Meera’s grandma Lily has feelings of loneliness. She
counsels Meera, “I have no desire to discuss the wind or the trees. If they are causing you
significant annoyance, then proceed to cut them down” (Ibid, Pg. 204). Meera agrees with Lily’s
perspective that men and trees are equivalent. She will cease to be concerned with appeasing her
Zeus, Giri. Lily advises Meera to embark on a fresh chapter in her life, emphasizing that it does
not solely involve changing her appearance or updating her clothing. A transformation that
results in a metamorphosed individual. “Be realistic, Meera. Gain a realistic perspective before
your life eludes your grasp” (Ibid, pg.79). She counsels her to practice self-honesty and cultivate
her aspirations. It rekindles her inspiration to dream once again. Lily took great pride in her
status as a National award-winning actress. She desires to assist Meera by alleviating some of the
weight on her shoulders, as she bears the duty of all the members of her family. Lily chooses to
visit Zahira, a former actress who abandoned her career some years ago and currently resides in
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Mysore. Zahira now lives with a multitude of animals and her son, who has achieved great
success as a television producer. He has expressed a desire for Lily to participate in his
upcoming series. Lily’s advanced age notwithstanding, her exuberant tone of speech reveals her
profound joy in her work. Therefore, she aligns herself with the position of a television
programmer and she exhibits a high level of autonomy in her decision-making, stating, “There is
no obligation to express any opinion. I am not seeking your authorization. I hereby notify you of
my judgment” (Ibid, Pg.273).
Conclusion
Lessons in Forgetting chronicles the journey of women as they strive to progress in life.
Furthermore, people actively shape their future. By becoming an assistant to Professor Jak,
Meera achieves financial independence, manages her expenses, and takes on the burden of
supporting her family. Sharda assumes the role of a teacher at the school and achieves
independence by marrying her coworker and embarking on a new chapter of her life. Kalachithi
changes her name to Vadehi following marriage. She divorces her husband and restarts her life
under her former identity, Kala Chithi. She trims her hair, resulting in a decrease in its weight. It
demonstrates her resilience in the face of her pain and her transformation into a revolutionary.
She cohabitates with Jak to provide him with care. Meera’s grandma, Lily, is experiencing
feelings of being alone and isolated because of Saro’s passing. Consequently, she decided to
reside at her friend’s residence and resume her employment in the television industry. Smirti’s
existence brings about immense suffering, as she confides in her father Jak, who feels obligated
to combat unjust biases in India, particularly inside their hometown of Minjakapuram. The novel
concludes with a fresh start and acquiring knowledge about the process of letting go and
progressing in life. Anita Nair’s writing revolves around her female characters’ quest for self-
discovery and their determination to assert their individuality.
Works Cited:
Nair, Anita. Lessons in Forgetting. New Delhi: Harper Collins, 2010.
Beauvoir, Simone de. The Second Sex. Trans. & ed. H M Parshley, Vintage Books, New York,
1989.
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Singh, Savitha. ‘Searching for and (Re) Creating the Self: A Study of Anita Nair’s Lessons in
Forgetting’. Journal of English Language Teaching and Literary Studies. Vol. 5. January-June.
2016.
Sinha, Sunita. Post-Colonial Women Writers New Perspectives. New Delhi: Atlantic Publishers
& Distributors, 2008. Print.
Tandon, Neeru. Feminism: A Paradigm Shift. New Delhi: Atlantic Publishers &
Distributors, 2008. Print.
Shodhaganga,http://shodhganga.inflibnet.ac.in/bitstream/10603/22
6/12/12-conclusion.pdf. web. 12 Feb 2017
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