Megs Gillespie
Illinois, USA
In the place of “I Do” two shots rang through the church.
The Bride watched her fiancé slam against the front of the kneeler before falling away, unmoving.
Silence echoed.
At an unknown signal, everyone began whispering and yelling into phones as the bride shook her fiancé’s arm with no response. She did not understand. He was supposed to answer her; he always answered her when she cried his name.
She was confused by the sirens coming down the streets, because they sounded vaguely like the blaring of an alarm clock.
Blinking, Ari stared in horror at the red 7:00 numbers thinking there was blood on her hands as she searched for the snooze button.
Pulling back her hand, she searched it in confusion, her dream fading away. Why on earth had she dreamed she was marrying her boss? Groaning, she buried her face back into her pillow waiting for the snooze to go off that meant she had to run to get to work on time.
“Bloody Hell!”
“Do you want to get fired?”
“Grmph- you’d be using much stronger words if you had to deal with a desk that ate papers and a laptop that has a taste for hiding documents.” Ari growled at her co-worker.
“Which is why you have that desk, because I know I can trust you to keep a civil tongue in your head,” a new voice interjected.
Biting said civil tongue, Ari smiled at her employer, showing more teeth than necessary in polite conversation. “Is there something I can do for you, Mr. Kazmir.”
He waved a miniature composition notebook in front of her nose. “I need you to run these errands. I would suggest paying particular attention to every detail.”
Scrambling to catch the dropped notebook, she said in a creepily happy tone. “My pleasure! Would you like these done before or after I re-type those letters to the corporate heads of the company? I also need new file folders. The ones from last week seem to have… run away.”
His grin matched her peppy tone “Oh, I should think that the errands should be done before nightfall. Laptops generally don’t have a taste for human blood.”
Ari’s smile froze as Mr. Kazmir closed himself in his office once more. Still being particularly conscious of not allowing the paper notebook she had been given to touch her desk that was devoid of all papers, she let her head bang down with a groan.
The skinny pen drawer seemed to have a broken spring because it sprung open with no warning, brushing against her chest. Squeaking, she stood, tripping over her chair as she clutched tightly at her notebook. She landed painfully in an open drawer, which attempted to close, squeezing her now bruised rear-end. Muttering curses, she stood and rammed her chair against the still open pen drawer, not feeling much satisfaction as the drawer rattled shut.
Gathering her white purse, white down coat, and a warm, fuzzy, red scarf from the racks just
beyond reaching distance from her desk, she bid her co-workers farewell, heading out into the bright, cool afternoon to gather the items on her shopping list.
Lunch break was just ending as she headed towards the forest preserve by the office.
Following the main path till about half ways in, she rounded a bush and, with a great deal more difficulty, followed an animal trail.
“Smug- irritating- jealous- overbearing- horse-rimmed nikampoof… Don’t even know why he needs a personal secretary; everyone in the office is pretty much his secretary as it is.” Ari muttered under her breath as she trekked through patchy snow. It was cold and her breath left water-droplets on the edge of her fuzzy scarf and the bright sunlight did nothing beneath the thick canopy of tree branches. She decided it would be a good time to start a new tirade. “Needy bastard- eek!’
“You forget how good my ears are.” Kazmir mentioned off-hand as he fell in next to her, still making no sounds as Ari’s feet crunched chilled leaves and broke twigs, ringing through the forest. “This is the part where I remind you I am your boss, and you should be trying to keep me happy.”
“You have four hooves! How do you move so damn silently! Make some noise,” she growled, thrusting the bag at him. “And why the hell did you need a girl’s swimsuit anyways?”
“I distinctly remember writing ‘your swimsuit’,” he commented searching through the bag for the bulls-eye candy he had also asked her to bring.
“Well- I assumed you meant one in my size…” She began to take a couple steps back towards the way she came. “I suppose it’s none of my business, since you are my boss and all. I’ll just be heading back to finish those letters now.”
“Ari,” Kazmir said, chewing on one of his favorite candies. “Did you look at the list while at your desk? You know it’s illegal to write items from across the boundary in human ink.”
She stared at him in horror, before frantically digging through her many pockets attempting to find the thrice-cursed cow paper pad, quickly flipping to the page with the tab. There were three new items on the list. “What- I have to go back there again?” She squeaked, reading the new list revealed because of the proximity to the crossing. She looked up in horror, “Do you not remember what happened the last time I went there!”
He simply motioned for her to follow him as he led the way to a stream that moved too fast to be frozen and the caves that lay beyond. “Kaz!”
Her world knowledge had been flooded with strange creatures. Centaurs, fauns, nymphs, distant cousins of the immortal legends. And then there were creatures like Kazmir a distant cousin of the centaur race, which she had never heard of in human legends. Apparently because they were usually mistaken for centaurs, they were not in human folklore. The only real difference is they had a more human-like nature, and their hair turned into a mane, travelling down the length of most of their human back.
The last time Ari had been to Kazmir’s home world, she had come in contact with a real centaur. That had been a terrifying experience, especially since she apparently had wide enough hips to birth to a foal. She had escaped with her life.
“You’re alive and still sane, aren’t you?” He called in reply. “Move it.”
Fear welled up in her chest and she reluctantly raced after the horse’s ass in front of her, “But- I thought you said you’d give me fair warning next time. You’re dumping this on me again! Those- ” she searched for a word that would describe the strange sexless creatures that
inhabited a mountain courtyard with wings for arms. “Those bird creatures threatened to kill me if I ever showed my “un-educated, insulting face” in their land again. And don’t even try to tell me they aren’t allowed to do that. I won’t believe you.”
“Fine. And I did give you fair warning,” he replied, unwrapping yet another bulls-eye candy. “You have that desk for a reason. You know you can’t read the Ink unless you’re within a certain radius of a crossing or in direct contact with one of us Creatures.”
“Giving that desk to me is sexual harassment,” she pouted, knowing full well that she was the one who screwed up this time. “You knew it was in love with me when you brought it to the office. I have to double the paperwork, cause he wants me to search through his damn drawers all the time… He groped me earlier today!”
“Speaking of which, that last batch of folders I gave you should’ve lasted till the end of the month.” Kazmir said.
“Did you forget the part where a sentient being is attached to my desk and is not only able to feel the emotion of love, or rather lust, and can learn? Isn’t he the whole reason I had to meet the bird-creatures?” Ari stumbled across a tree root. Readjusting, the bag on her shoulder, she continued lecturing her boss. “He’s been dismantling them a day faster for the past few months. He must’ve cracked some code, cause it’s only been two weeks this time around- Oi.
Get back here. My boots are so not waterproof and it’s way too cold to go barefoot!”
Kazmir dutifully leapt back over the small stream and helped Ari clamber up on his back. “I really need to get permission to teach you how to properly ride a horse…” He winced as she slipped, digging her heels into his flanks as she pulled at his mane that went about half way down his back.
“Sorry,” she muttered, slinking down, and wrapping her arms tightly about his chest from behind. He walked through the water this time, carefully so as not to create a reason to dislodge her. Once on the other side, he climbed the short slope to the cave. “Watch your arms and legs,” he commented as he began entering the narrow crevice in the rocks. She jostled about on his back pulling her knees up onto his back so that she would fit inside the crevice as well.
They travelled for about five feet before they emerged into a summer fantasy land. Off- balance and without the crevice walls to secure her, she tumbled off the broad mahogany horse’s back and groaned. Kazmir merely shook his head, “Horse-back riding lessons. Most definitely.”
“You could at least help me up,” she snapped, but he had already offered his hand and she took it with a huff.
“Read the list again?”
She draped her coat and scarf over his back, enjoying the change in climate in the fantasy land she had come to learn about a year ago. “Paper, new charms, and extra-chairs- more special chairs?” She hated the special chairs, they had the tendency to move around and one of her many jobs was to look after them and apologize and explain that the chair was ‘broken’ when humans with normal back-ends try to sit on them. They were meant for creatures with tails and strange lower halves. At Kazmir’s simple nod, she remembered. “Oh- and more file folders. I refuse to keep the paperwork on my shelves, like all the rest of my office supplies and personal possessions.”
“If he keeps that up, the head honchos are going to have a talk with him. They need a human with me to help with the human world business, and they refuse to give up any of their workers that have dealings with both sides. Drink?”
Kazmir tossed her a water bottle. Ari dutifully took a sip, almost choking on the water before handing back the water bottle. She decided to ignore Kazmir in preference of enjoying
the walk to wherever they were going. As much as she hated crossing over, she did love the climate and the landscape of the strange world. She often felt as if she were walking through the pages of a story book with the springy grass beneath her feet and the trees that stretched high into the sky, well-known and unfamiliar animals peeking out of branches and holes in the ground. It was too hot to truly be perfectly picturesque.
Her good mood was abruptly shattered by the high-pitched voice that cooed, “Kazzy!” Suggestive comments were coded into every word that was heard, “You’re not coming to visit us, are you?”
“Kaz-zy?” She repeated with a strange hesitance.
“It’s good for business,” Kazmir shrugged, but she would have sworn in a court of law that the tan horse-creature was blushing. “You might want to go find a place to put your swimsuit on.”
She glared.
“You’re more than welcome to swim with or without your clothes as well,” he retorted; she noted it was only after he had moved out of her immediate reach.
When she went down the water’s edge, safely changed, she left her clothes in the bag ignoring the Octopus-maids that were presently climbing over her boss who was already in the water. She did not bother paying close enough attention to see if the maid presently kissing Kazmir was sticking her tongue down his throat as well. Sticking her toes into the water, she enjoyed the gentle waves that splashed over her ankles, playing with the white ties on the edge of her swimsuit. She really hated white and sat wondering why she had picked out a white wetsuit. She never had enjoyed the strappy look that the wetsuit was trying to copy.
Wishing for her goggles, she scooted till she was sitting on a rock in the actual water. Ari had never been to a true ocean before, but if it was anything like the expanse of water before her, she would be living on a water-front somewhere. Somehow.
Daydreaming and purposefully ignoring her immediate surroundings meant that she was completely unprepared for the slimy, tentacled hand that grabbed her ankle, pulling her off her rocky perch. Water filled her nostrils and mouth, and she was rudely reminded that coughing also required air.
Squirming desperately, she kicked to reach the surface, despair drowning out the curses she had been placing on her boss. The last thing she expected to feel was cool, scaly lips pressed against hers. A tongue pried open her mouth leaving a vague fishy taste, not unpleasant, that spread throughout her mouth, creeping down her throat in a manner that left her trying to scratch at her neck in an attempt to relieve herself of the tickling feeling…
Released from all holds, she coughed and was able to gather the required air needed for her body to work. Now familiar lips and tongues covered her ears and eyes. She fought against every nerve in her body that screamed to get away from the tickling feeling that crept towards the nerves protected in her ears and made her eyes attempt to turn backwards in their socket because they itched.
“-ri. Ari. Ar-“
Apparently octopus-maiden saliva had magical properties. At least Ari thought it was magical, she had been an English major mainly out of love for the subject, but partially just in order to prove that science was evil… and no one ever paid much attention to her explanation regardless.
“Oh shut up, I can hear fine now.” She rubbed her eyes and ears vigorously. “There had to be a better way…”
“Not really, short of having the entire physiology of your body changed.” Kazmir grinned, obviously enjoying her discomfort. “Trust me when I say that this is much better. No uncomfortable bone-reshaping.”
“Side effects?” She asked, swimming towards him. “Nothing of consequence.”
“Kaz!” He swam downwards, leaving her to follow. Looking back towards the surface of the water, she sighed. Somewhere along the line she had gotten hooked on the idea of new adventures. Remembering her childhood dreams of being a nice steady school teacher, she groaned to no one in particular. “This is not the life I ordered!” She quickly swam away from the bubbly giggling of the octopus-maidens.
An hour had passed, the constant swimming made Ari’s muscles ache. She was seriously considering reaching out to grab her boss’s tail and hitch an easy ride.
“We’re here,” Kazmir’s voice interrupted her contemplations.
Looking past the mesmerizing moving tail, she realized that they were at the base of what must be the biggest tree ever. Kicking with renewed energy, she shot past Kazmir to dive head first into the maze of tree roots. “Is this really a tree?”
Kazmir shook his head, a smile twitching at the corner of his lips. “This is why the Feathren assumed you were so rude.”
“Feathren?”
“The bird creatures.”
“Oh them- but there’s no one here. And- just- look! We’re swimming through the roots of a giant tree… these roots are as big as some of the actual trees back in the Forest Preserve!” She swam to the edge of Kazmir’s sight before exclaiming about little circle-worm creatures that glowed amongst the roots and flowers.
Ari stared curiously at first creature that had appeared before her, raising a hand in a tentative wave. There were 50 more of the twig creatures before she blinked, encircling her inside of a sphere. She tensed, ready to fight, but Kazmir called out a greeting.
The sphere of the webbed wood creatures were gone as fast as they had appeared.
Blinking, she watched as Kazmir grabbed them, tossing them out of his way, the water filled with lighthearted vibrations that she felt throughout her whole body rather than heard.
Kazmir hurled one of the brown bodies at her. Wrapping her arms around it, they traveled back a couple feet, most of the light-hearted vibrations having stopped. She looked down into bright blue eyes that peered curiously up at her. “Hello, there.” She said.
“Hello, there!” the greeting was strange against her eardrums. And then she was bombarded by soft twig bodies, anxious to discover if she was hiding an extra pair of arms or legs.
“What are they?” She question Kazmir. “Bluebarks,” he replied. “These are the children.
“Obviously,” she snorted as one of the kids found a particularly ticklish part on the back of her neck. “Where are their parents?”
“Here.” Only two of the tiny blue-barks stayed by her side as the rest swam easily through the water. Kicking, she turned herself around and blinked in surprise at the large creatures resembling plank-shaped trunks, eyes just as bright blue as the children, but the adults shimmered blue between the cracks in their bark. Ari doubted she would be able to see the blue glow if she had met them in any form of sunlight. Beneath the large tree, shaded from the open
water by the maze of the roots, she was able to view the glowing creatures that somehow actually walked through the water on the sandy floor of whatever body of water they were in.
“You’ve come for the order of chairs?” Again she could not spot any mouths and felt the words with her entire body. Aside from the brief announcement, the adult bluebarks paid no heed to Ari.
“Yes.” Kazmir beckoned Ari. “My secretary will review the paperwork and receipts, if you please.”
“The child is a secretary?” Ari could not pinpoint a speaker to save her life.
Swimming, she rested her feet best she could against the sand next to Kazmir, “I am his secretary. My childhood years passed long ago.”
“Your kind is even smaller than the Manes.” The Blue-bark said with friendly curiousity, referring to the fact that she was smaller than Kazmir.
“Yes, we are smaller than most people in this land, but our brain matures at a faster rate, because our life span is much shorter. I’m only 24 currently.”
Kazmir’s tail twitched, his head cocking slightly to one side as vibrations buffeted against her. It took her a minute to realize the creatures were chuckling. They handed her a paper as large as her torso, “You are still a child. Younger than even Kazmir the Mane, but we will respect his decision in this. All children must learn through experience.”
Ari nodded respectfully, biting her tongue. She would not give them more cause to baby her by running her tongue. Kazmir helped hold her ground as well as the papers, showing her what she needed to look for amongst yet another new type of receipt. They had ordered and paid for two chairs from the water-tree, because it was the only type of wood that would accommodate creatures of all different sorts of back ends.
Signing the receipts, Kazmir allowed Ari to swim the receipts over where the chairs were waiting for them.
“Do you still require assistance with transportation?” “Yes,” Ari replied. “We have already paid for it as well.
“Won’t you stay for dinner?” A dark bluebark extended the invitation.
“It would be much nicer to travel with full digestive tracts,” a decidedly feminine voice
said.
“We would be delighted,” Ari accepted delightedly, happily oblivious to Kazmir’s
worried look.
Dinner was a strange mix of under-water foliage, served with chewy bark (she could only hope came from the actual tree roots), and some sort of meat that reminded her of sushi. There was a strange pill-like seasoning of some sort on one of the browner foods; she rolled them off, hiding them under one of the casings of oysters’ shells. Dessert consisted of some flavored shake. The children claimed her after the official food course was over, happily sharing their dessert with her.
They popped sponge-textured bites into her mouth, flooding her senses with a sickeningly sweet taste. The children continued to shove the sponges in their own mouths and hers, mindless of the fact that human digestive systems were vastly different from their own. Soon, her taste buds could only tell that the sponges meant a sweet euphoria as she floated weightlessly with the giggling, tickling twigs.
Kazmir found himself only able swear violently when he found her, far above his head, voluntarily gorging on sponge-bites with curious, amused bluebark children.
“She claims she is not a child?” questioned their dinner host.
“She’s apparently young enough,” Kazmir growled in reply. The bluebarks chuckled.
“Ari!” Kazmir called, beckoning.
Ari stared in horror down at Kazmir; his torso was covered in blood; it bubbled, just a little, from the corner of his mouth. She swam desperately towards him, “Kaz- Kaz!”
“Woah- woah!” Ari struggled against the arms restraining her. “Calm down, calm down, Ari. It’s alright.”
“Let me go!” She yelled, “Let me go! I have to get to Kaz. He’s hurt!” “She’s way too strong- I need some help!”
“Kaz! Kazzy!” Ari cried. She did not understand why they would not allow her to go help. “Help him! He’s bleeding, can’t you see he’s bleeding!”
“Crud- she’s off. Bring the tranquilizer!”
“Ack- I found her meds. She hid them in the plant.”
“Kazzy!” Ari could no longer see him. Everything was white. She was dressed in white; the bluebarks dressed in brown were a stark contrast against the white. The only contrast. “He’s dying- someone help him!”
“Hurry.” The voices were extremely calm, completely controlled. “She’s agitating the others.” There was a sharp pinch in her thigh, as her hands got caught in the white straps on her wetsuit.
Cursing, she continued to tug, but she could not coordinate enough to free her hands.
Kazmir’s hands were helping then, and she looked up at him. “I’m okay.” With a sigh of relief, she fell asleep.